My Response To The Daily Mail’s Hatchet Job On Mum Bloggers…

Oh you rotters. You’ve done it again. Not content with degrading The Labour Party and the International Development community, you’ve turned your hateful attentions to us mum bloggers, singling out The Unmumsy Mum & Hurrah For Gin for extra detention. You call us ‘slapdash’ and ‘patronising’ to those who feel fulfilled as mothers. You accuse us of pimping out our…

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A Day In The Life Of Small Children: Scene 1

I found a box of old film scripts yesterday, leftovers from a previous life. It got me thinking… What would the script of a real mum’s life look like? Hmmmm. Well, here’s my version: SCENE 1: ‘Would you like a snack?’ INT: UNTIDY COTTAGE – DAY. Mum enters the room. Her long brown hair is disheveled. She has a wary look on her face. It’s 3:10pm.…

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Breastfeeding: Society’s Expectation Vs. Your Own Sanity

It starts with a feeling, a rising from the pit of my stomach. I don’t like it. It tastes wrong. It’s a guilty secret, the kind I could never ever share. Yet the more I think it, the more unruly it becomes… I don’t like breastfeeding. It’s 3am. Emily is six weeks old. I’m sitting up in bed with one…

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Laura Kenney and The Happy Delusions of Expectant Mothers

Great Britain awoke this morning to the news of more Corbyn Carnage and the sweetly optimistic musings of Laura Kenney (Olympic cycling superhero and expectant mum). She and her husband have just announced that all games consoles will be banned from their house i.e. nixing the opportunity for their child to, ‘sit on the sofa all day.’ Whilst it’s a noble thing…

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My Perfect Family Bank Holiday

Before kids, Bank Holidays were cherished and savoured. The weather was guaranteed to let the side down but I’ve never been the green-fingered type. Besides, most beer gardens have patio heaters these days, and that was the only logical destination after the mother of all lie-ins. In 2011 I had a rude awakening. By May 1st Emily was hovering on…

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The ‘Oh Shit Moment’

There’s a moment in every new mum’s life. A sort of realisation. And it’s one we all remember, no matter how traumatic the birth or how strong the sedative. It comes right after your insides have been sewn back together again and all ten fingers and toes have been accounted for: You find yourself alone with your baby for the first time.…

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‘Mummy Porn’: Why I Push The Barriers Of ‘Happily Ever After’

I hate the term ‘Mummy Porn’… It belittles what I do. It somehow implies that I spend my days and evenings sweating over my laptop like some dirty old man and his stash of magazines. Nor am I a sex maniac who uses her writing as an outlay from some serious frustration (although I’m sure Matt would be delighted if…

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