Cancer: A Series of Compromises I Don’t Want To Make

My youngest, Jess, starts school on Monday. She’s so excited she might burst. She keeps packing her new book bag with toys and taking her new Clarks shoes out of their box. The build-up to this big event has been carefully micromanaged, often from my bedside. Shoes were bought six weeks ago regardless of the inevitable ‘summer growth spurt’. Her…

View Post

The Big Crash

I knew it was coming. It was inevitable the moment my father passed away last month. The Big Crash. The lower-than-low point. The brick wall. The culmination of two months of sheer and utter hell… I hoped it might come during my chemo treatment, during those 3 months of social wasteland, when I had my head stuck in a toilet…

View Post

What My Father Meant To Me

This week I was invited by a production team in New York to record a podcast to discuss, amongst other things, how my outlook on life has changed since my cancer diagnosis. Over the course of the interview my words strayed to my father. As many of you know, he lost his own cancer battle just one month ago. Moments…

View Post

Recipe: Breakfast Berry-Bonanza Smoothie

The worst thing about cancer is the loss of control over your body – that’s pure hell for a control freak like me! One way I’m striking back is through diet and exercise. These are the small things that I DO have a say in… With chemo imminent I’ve adopted a strict veggie diet (plus fresh fish for the good…

View Post

My Biggest Regret In Life? Regret Itself …

A friend and I were chatting nonsense the other day, asking each other daft questions as we tried to stop our feral offspring posting crisps into DVD players and taunting the goldfish. It’s the sort of conversation that springs from a comfortable familiarity. Two friends who have known each other since our heydays of fake IDs, underage nightclubbing and alcopops.…

View Post

A Letter To My Husband

I met you when I was seventeen. I think I loved you even then. Eleven years later we were married. Two years later I was pregnant with Emily. Two years after that we had Jessica. Our life is full of numbers. The good ones are the birthdays we’ve shared, the wedding anniversaries, all nine of them, and the parenting milestones,…

View Post

Having a Breast Biopsy: My Experience

I feel like I’m on a medical juggernaut at the moment, one that’s driven by that crazy truck driver from the movie, ‘Duel’. It’s careering all over the road and that’s me, over by the back bumper, hanging onto the number plate by my fingernails. That’s the real kicker with The Big C… suddenly your whole body is under scrutiny.…

View Post