If there’s one thing that has caused me more stress and heartache during my children’s toddler years it’s poo-withholding.
I kid you not.
And for anyone fortunate enough to navigate potty training without a whiff of this trouble then I applaud you, (and then I’ll weep with envy behind your back.) Because nothing, I mean NOTHING, has made me question my sanity or my worth as a mother more than this. And yes, I still find it implausible that something so ‘minor’ ended up damn near breaking me.
‘Cause of nervous breakdown, Madam?’
‘My child refuses to shit, Sir.’
BOTH my girls suffered with this. Emily started at eighteen months, just before we started potty training. Perhaps she sensed change was afoot? There was no warning. No hint of an issue. But once she started withholding it took us two years of doctor’s appointments, daily medication and sheer inventiveness before we sorted it out.
Jess was a little easier. I think she only started withholding out of sisterly solidarity! At fourteen months she was old enough to catch the tail end of Emily’s reluctance. But as soon as Emily was ok she stopped overnight.
The Internet is abound with horror stories of fecal impaction and enemas. Eek. And as awful as Emily’s problems were it thankfully never reached that stage. Her diet was good, no tweaks required. So we pounced on a sympathetic GP instead who, after a disastrous trial of lactulose (it gave Emily terrible tummy ache), prescribed us Paediatric Movicol.
This stuff is a wonder drug for children like Emily but it isn’t a quick fix. To break the psychological cycle of poo-withholding (poo hurts – child never want to poo again – poo hurts even more etc…) Emily ended up taking a daily dose for nearly two years.
The stuff tastes foul so we had to keep finding new and inventive ways to entice her to drink it. We found the best method was to mix it with milk and chocolate Nesquik. Then to offer it up during a favourite TV programme – distraction is key here!
Breaking The Psychological Cycle:
Easier said than done, especially when you have a stubborn toddler on your hands. In my experience Rewards Charts just don’t cut it. Not even a packet of Chocolate Buttons was a decent-enough incentive. So I went rogue and got creative…
I could write a whole blog about all the crazy stories I made up to encourage Emily to go. Poos that lived in the toilet, Poo Fairies that left gifts after a successful ‘deposit’ … you name it I composed it! I have a BA Hons in Journalism but a secret Doctorate in ‘Reasons To Shit’.
In the end it took 2 great picture books and that daily dose of Movicol to do the trick;
Liam Goes Poo in the Toilet: A Story about Trouble with Toilet Training by Jane Whelen-Banks
A gentle picture book that illustrates the different stages of eating and digestion. It helps teach young children to gain control over their body and to respond promptly to their internal cues.
A more detailed look into the digestive system, as told through imaginative storytelling. Ryan is scared to use the toilet until his doctor uses a clever analogy to put his mind at ease. This book also comes with a detailed diagram that shows what happens inside the body and how different foods affect the digestive process.
If your kids are still having trouble please comment and let me know. I might have a few more tricks up my sleeve…