New sofa confidence

There are moments in life that inspire such an over-abundance of pure, unadulterated happiness that it succeeds in blocking out the whiniest whinge of all toddler whinges. One such event took place last Saturday. It was (drum roll please…) THE PURCHASE OF A NEW SOFA. Well the purchasing part was actually pretty fecking awful as we had two small children in tow,…

View Post

Mum Flu: A special kind of hell

Mum Flu is like Man Flu but without the sympathy. And unlike its parental twin there is no bed rest with this chuffing bastard. Nor are there endless hours of watching box sets and sipping chicken soup. Welcome to a new kind of hell, fellow mummies, because despite temperatures of 103 you are still expected to pick up hot-pink plastic crap…

View Post

How to bake the perfect birthday cake (AKA a recipe for trouble.)

Take a close look at this cherub. See how her eyes sparkle with excitement. Now cast a glance downwards at the rich, chocolaty birthday brownie that her mummy has so lovingly created for her… Errr. NOPE. This particular baking product is courtesy of Signore Pizza Express, located somewhere between Big Mummy Fail Palazzo and Major Fuck-up Strada. With our family birthday…

View Post

Country Loving

In 2013 we swapped a buzzing Bristol suburbia for the Wiltshire countryside. In hindsight, no one should commit to such a momentous, life-changing decision with two kids under three. Extreme sleep deprivation can do funny things, everyone knows that – yet me and the iCandy were yearning to pound anything other than cracked pavements (no pun intended) and the longer we stayed put, the more…

View Post

Ice-skating at Hampton Court Palace

I went ice-skating over Christmas for the first time in twenty years. Yes, you heard that right. TWENTY. When the hell did I get so old? My folks live close to Hampton Court Palace so the scene was set. In effect, the gauntlet was thrown down. What could possibly go wrong? I had visions of us gently skating around the grounds,…

View Post