My First Christmas Without Dad

Grief triggers and Christmas… They’re as tightly entwined as holly and ivy. I can’t seem to catch my breath at the moment. The closer we get to the 25th December the more I stumble; the more those memories breach my defences. My father was a larger than life character. I grew up to the raucous sounds of my parents’ Christmas parties.…

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Cancer: A Tale Of Two Mirrors

Something strange happened in my local M&S yesterday. I was reaching for the last silver star Christmas decoration when my hand collided with a man who was doing exactly the same thing. We exchanged polite smiles. I may have even giggled, I tend to do that in awkward situations, but then he smiled again and started talking to me. I…

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Happy Publication Day to me!

As many of you know I was diagnosed with cancer this year. How did I react? I wrote a book, a hot, steamy romance book filled with feisty women and sexy men, and one that removed me as far away from oncology rooms as possible ☺. In many ways writing this saved my life almost as much as my cancer…

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My Reverse Bucket List

What is it about a birthday that makes you so reflective? I was doing ok until the chocolate cake ran out… After that I spent the whole night panicking about all the countries that I might not get to visit if my cancer returns. When I was first diagnosed, someone asked me if I was going to write a Bucket…

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How Cancer Changed My Marriage

Someone once told me that a cancer diagnosis makes or breaks a marriage. Having survived five months of major surgery and chemotherapy I’m happy to say that mine is still very much intact. There have been moments though, particularly during those long, interminable hours on my local chemo unit, when our rock-solid foundation has developed fissures and flaws. Cancer is…

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Sexual Harassment Aside, Let’s Talk About The Culture Of Bullying

I was 25 when a married Executive Producer took my hand and tried to talk me back to his hotel room. He was a big deal in Hollywood. I was his young, ambitious production coordinator, who also happened to be a long way from home. Even so, I made my excuses and left. Another statistic. Another #MeToo. It wasn’t the…

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Every Three Weeks I Let Cancer Win A Battle

On this day, typically the fifth or sixth since my last chemotherapy infusion, every insecurity and unspoken fear of mine wraps their icy fingers around my wrist and drags me deeper and deeper into the abyss. I can’t fight it. I simply don’t have the strength. My body feels heavy and useless. My antiemetic pills bring me no relief from…

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